I was going to glance over my friends list to see who all is actually on it, but then I decided the hell with it. My nerves are racked at the thought of what people will think of me.
Those of you who know me well, or even a little, know that when things are rough in my life I GO RUNNING!!!!
I hide, I don't return calls. The list goes on.
This is my first step in changing how I cope. I have 257 'friends' on facebook.
I am having the worst time of my life.
I have lost my children. CPS took them. I am falling apart. I don't know up from down. Left from right. I miss them so much and the pain is unbearable.
I am reaching out to people on my page and asking for someone to pray for me. My kids. I need to forgive myself. My kids don't deserve this. I love them so much. I really need help and support right now. By support- I mean prayer and thoughts will suffice. It will be at least a year before I have them back.
WTF am I going to do for a year? Not to mention I am broke, unemployed, and having a hard time finding reason to keep trying.
I have NEVER written anything like this publically, but I am hoping that it will be a positive change I have made as opposed to the running I have been doing the past few months.
I ask that this stay among people on my friends list.
